Dabo

Now that the CFP Matchup is set, Clemson coach Dabo Swinney is once again ON HIS BULLSHIT, as they say. Like any red-blooded American, one of the first things I do after eating a plate of bacon is check ESPN and see what I need to get mad about or excited about on a given day. So, of course, one of the top headlines today is Dabo Dis? A story about how Dabo ranked the Bucks 11th in his final coaches poll. He ‘dissed’ us. Get it?

Listen Dabo, we know. You played more games than us. You’re in the South. Where they don’t give a shit about the global pandemic and think it’s fine to hold enormous super-spreader events. We know that Justin Fields had to drag the entire B1G, kicking and screaming, into playing the season. We know we only played 6 games including the Big Ten Title Game. And that we had a bunch of players out because we followed all the protocols. WE KNOW.

But, I feel the need to point out, Dabo just says shit. He’s sorta sneaky and Machiavellian but he’s got this Southern drawl. I’d equate it to an aw shucks lawyer from the Deep South who’s really good at his job and plays up the ‘what do I know’ thing as he’s cornering his prey. I’m not going to go on and on, but I would like to point out an illustrative Dabo quote. In an article regarding college athletes making money off of their name/image/likeness he hilariously said:

“I’ve always said I’m against the professionalization of college athletics and the devaluation of education… If we professionalize college we might as well coach the pros… I’m 100 percent for the collegiate model and the value of education. That’s never going to change with me. Our country needs that and these kids need that.”

“Our country needs that…” Get the fuck out of here, Dabo. Just to be clear – Dabo makes quite a lot of money and doesn’t believe any of this bullshit. This year he’s 3rd on the total salary list for college coaches. He would have approximately the 6th highest salary of NFL coaches! And, he would be #1 in the college ranks this year, but it appears he took a $1.25M pandemic pay cut. Clemson announced (that’s a link to a Clemson blog you guys) all athletics employees who make over 400K would take a 10% pay cut, although some of the things I’m reading say it’s voluntary. More like volun-told! (That’s a fun thing we say at the office when we elect someone to do some bullshit while they’re out taking care of a sick child or elderly parent). Either way, I’m sure that money’s going to local food pantries and homeless shelters.

• Saban is first with $9.1M. Just a likable guy and a likable team!
• Then Coach O at LSU, $8.67M. Give him all the money as far as I’m concerned.
• Dabo is 3rd with $8.258575M. Just a normal salary for a college employee guiding money making machine amateur students through this phase of their lives.
• Harbaugh & His Pleated Khakis is 4th – $8M. LOL, Michigan what are you doing?
• And 5th is Jimbo Fisher at Texas A&M who makes $7.5M, or as it’s more commonly known, the largest amount of money anyone named ‘Jimbo’ has ever been paid.
• For disclosure purposes, The Buckeyes’ Ryan Day is at $5.6M.

Anyway that’s all for now. I’ll be back with some discussion of the actual game and some historical context. And probably to talk shit about Dabo a little more.

-Eric